Wednesday, November 01, 2006

You Have to Smile

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How D o You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
nacho Cheese. (C'mon, say it again)

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

26. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because they Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile

*Disclaimer*
1. If you descend from the pilgrims, golf, skydive, own a trailer, live in Tennessee, drive a Harley, are related to someone who was on the Titanic, sky dive, golf, pick your nose, are blind, have a gimpy dog, really do pea soup, own a pampered cow, are a bull fighter, are one of Santa's helpers, own a boomerang, really do make holy water or are crazy OR if you know anyone who is, please don't take offense. These jokes are NOT pointed at you or your acquaintance . These are just silly jokes.


2. NONE of these jokes are about MY famil so don't go callin' my momma a meanie!



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Credits: Kit by Rhonna Farrer, Font is Lucida Sans Typewriter, Doodle is by Angie Briggs, Inked overlay is by Nancie Rowe Janitz

4 comments:

Pugsli said...

I loved the jokes and the disclaimer! The picture made me smile the most tho!

Nj0 said...

I still like stuffin' the turkey with a cornish hen, what a wonderful joke....lmao!!!!

Anita said...

There was alot more than one that make me smile! Thanks for the laugh.

linnie in california said...

I loved your list of jokes but I especially enjoyed the disclaimer. Humor and laughter in our world is sometimes hard to come by. Everyone is so busy, so behind schedule all of the time and mostly humorless. Thanks for the moment to slow down and smile. You are doing a great public service!!! :)